Looseheads in Lockdown
Zoom Curry Club - The Finale
AS REPORTED BY PETER FISON
It was observed that the OBRFCFRCC website was looking rather sad after a year of lockdown and no recorded activity. However let’s set the record straight… OBRFCFRCC is a thriving community, at the cutting edge of lockdown social engagements. The moment covid struck we were online, Zooming our way through takeaway and home curry’s once a month with the finest front row playing old Bristolians in Bristol in attendance.
This month was another corker. Snuds kept us on the straight and narrow with regular fact checks throughout, meaning that if any of the transcript below holds inaccuracies please point written complaints to one Dr. J Snudden.
Slammy’s shelving units were scrutinised and a proposal for the Dragons Den was created; floating shelves filled with helium as a storage solution. Adley, released a fistful of dubious helium factoids suggesting a worldwide shortage in the element could scupper the future of the floating shelf business. This OBRFCFRCC correspondent is still investing. An addendum to the shelving chat – hand sanitzier floats on water – even in a plastic bottle!
Chunk had to nip out for a poo at this point. But he was sure not to miss anything, remaining in the chat but turning his video off and muting himself. I guess that is 21st century etiquette for you?
After confirming that over half of attendees were drinking either cocktails or fruit juices the remaining beer drinking stalwarts (Adley, Morgs, Snuds) put their minds to worrying about the world economic and socio-political status of certain fruit drinks. An in depth and historical foray into the origins of Umbongo (they drink it in the Congo) was a crowd pleaser.
Sadly conversation eventually turned to rugby. Would the Vets team really beat the 1st XV in a game? Whiteman asserted they most certainly would, being the oldest member in attendance his position wasn’t entirely surprising. There were raised eyebrows from the younger members. Declaring himself done talking rugby, Whiteman departed and all agreed that was a fantastic conclusion to an enjoyable meeting for the OBRFCFRCC.
See you next month. Love you. Bye xxx
Ganesha
Pre Drinks
Venue: Rope Walk
It was the second outing of the season for the OBRFCFRCC and a second time in a row that the location was south of the river. However, the venue chosen for the pre drinks was the rather charming Rope Walk, a pub that would not be out of place in BS8 resulting in a happy Morgs.
There was one late drop out, Snudden having sent a message an hour before meet time that he was in Exeter, no more details.
Talk turned to Runkle’s wedding, which was apparently a particularly boozy one with The Runkles budgeting at a punchy 3x bottles of wine per guest. When asked who was the drunkest OB at the wedding it came as no surprise that by unanimous vote it was Hamblett.
Mention of Hamblett, the only person so far to have been kicked out of curry club, talk then turned to how close to the line Cap’n Joe Willacy was to being ejected from the club. Mainly due to him abusing his membership by using the group to raise availability for Saturday games and talking far too much about Rugby and not Curry. There was discussion on establishing a front row union who’s role it was to ensure that no OBRFCFRCC member played more than 30 minutes per game.
After a few beverages we made our way across the “new up and coming” East Street to Ganesha for curry time.
Poppadoms and Chutneys
Arriving at Ganesha we were greeted by Adley and Mike Dean. Adley was wearing a rather appropriately coloured Ralph Lauren polo shirt that was immediately the envy of all attendees and had brought a bag full of booze with him, just in case it was a BYO. It wasn’t.
We immediately ordered 2x poppadoms and assorted chutneys for the group, standard.
Poppadoms arrived along with a rare appearance from Whiteman, straight from Kettlebells, who then ordered a slimming meat platter, naan (no rice) and a diet coke, what an athlete. Chutneys were perhaps a bit on the stingy side, mint yoghurt had a nice cucumber zing, rest was pretty standard.
When ordering there was a minor panic when no naan breads could be found on the menu, however just as Morgs was about to flip the table and storm out, keen eyed Marshy spotted them in the aptly named “Colours of Wheat” section of the menu. Everyone was happy again, apart from Whiteman who had spent the past 48 hours trying to fix computers turning off and on again and Morgs who was very concerned by the height of the light fixture in the bathroom.
Curry, Rice and Naan
Mains arrived promptly and after a minor mix up where Giddings started helping himself to Mike Dean’s rice everyone had what they ordered plus a few extra “Colours of Wheat” that had appeared from somewhere.
Personally I had a rather delicious curry that consisted of Lamb chops in a lamb curry, so double lamb! We all found out Adley was a Korma man but he was quick to defend himself saying he had tried a Phall before but was not particularly convincing. Mike Dean had a mysterious green concoction that he described as a Saag Koala, but was unsure if this meant it contained actual Koala.
Talk of Koala meat brought the discussion round to what mysterious meats everyone had tried with Morgs stating quite ominously that he would definitely try human if it was offered to him. Then it was decided that from the group Mike Dean would probably be the most succulent with Fison being the fewer delicious.
OBRFCFRCC stash was discussed, possibly hats or bibs. Waistcoats were then suggested, followed by turban and toga so we could arrive to curry houses in “full get-up”. This was greeted by nervous laughter and shortly afterwards the bill arrived along with a group shot with the owner/chef.
Aperitifs arrived with the bill and were sadly a bit disappointing, fox mints and a lemon flavoured wet wipe. Not an After Eight in sight.
Post Drinks
Venue: White Hart
Post curry it was decided to head next door to the White Hart, but not before losing a member with Marshy quickly leaving quoting he would be too scared to wear his OB’s Gillet to that particular pub, conveniently located opposite Asda and McDonalds.
The rest of us piled in and was delighted to discover that pints in the White Hart did not exceed £2 (£2.20 for a fancy beer, like Carlsberg). PC Giddings and Whiteman were left pretty miffed that their “soft” drink round was the same price as the real pints round.
They love snooker in the White Hart, with it being shown on every screen in the pub and it was a big surprise to find Murphy the snooker player was a Mike Dean doppelgänger. This sparked conversation into what were other member’s doppelgänger with Morgs being Nick Frost from Sean of the Dead, Whiteman as Wreck-it-Ralph, Giddings as some Dr Who villain (I assume a hair challenged one) and Slammy as a generic aryan German.
Conversation then turned to what sports everyone was best whilst at school with only Whiteman saying Rugby. Runkle declared that he was a brilliant bowls player having spent his youth playing indoors at his Grandad’s (presumably massive) house. Fison was next stating he was brilliant at hockey having made it into his school’s 5th team. Slammy then said stool ball, that was met with blank stares from everyone not believing it was a genuine sport and required a google search to prove it wasn’t something his teachers had just made up. Giddings is a cricket man, Morgs loves a bit of Badminton, Mike Dean has won competitions in Fencing and Adley misunderstanding what everyone was talking about said he would be amazing a Modern Pentathlon. Having had the topic properly explained he revealed that he used to represent Yorkshire in breast stroke.
Whiteman then managed to get a mysterious brown stain on his trousers from the table and rather hopefully decided it was lip gloss left on the table. Because every girl loves to have brown lips. It was then joked that a visit to the White Hart would be £6 a round, £60 in house of fraser for new chinos.
With the locals giving us a few sideways glances it was decided it was time to call it a night and head on home. Whiteman had bravely stuck his car in the 2 hour max limit car park across the road and it is currently unknown if he managed to avoid a ticket…

Chai Shai
Pre Drinks
Venue: Hope and Anchor
The second outing of the year for the Bristol Front-Row Curry Club kicked off at the bustling Hope and Anchor on Jacob Wells Road.
There were two late drop-outs from the evening, surprisingly Gio was not one of them. Snudds claimed to be ill with tonsillitis but redeemed himself by assuring members that he would be ordering Chai Shai on Deliveroo so that he could still feel part of the group. Marshy didn’t bother to come up with an excuse.
Conversation ranged from speculation on Marshy’s last minute drop out, Slammy’s synthesiser collection and Jamie Desk’s work day.
After a few beverages it was time to make our way down the hill to Chai Shai passing the No Rugby Teams allowed sign on the way out.
Poppadoms and Chutneys
Arriving at Chai Shai, LIDL carrier bags stocked full of 3 for £5 Cobra in hand, we were given the front window table, proudly put on display to entice passers by. Chai Shai has a BYOB policy, which was perfect for those that remembered to pick up their own alcohol on the way.
We immediately ordered 2x poppadoms and assorted chutneys for the group, standard.
Poppadoms arrived balanced upon a basket too small to hold them along with an assortment of three different chutneys. Mint Yoghurt was on point, the Mango Chutney was especially good with a spicy zing and a Cabbage/Mystery Veg crudités ensemble. Whiteman claimed the Mango Chutney was simply Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce and was ridiculed for his terrible palette.
Late arrival Mike Dean was short changed one poppadom and as no one was owning up to eating 3 it was decided to blame Chai Shai. He seemed to take it well.
Chai Shai offers a fairly limited selection on the menu, often not a bad thing and various main courses were ordered, Saag Chicken, “Something I Can’t Rememeber” Chicken and Saag Mutton among them. Garlic and Coriander Naan’s and Chai Shai Special Indian Rice all around and a Peshwari Naan for Morgs with his sweet tooth.
Runkle had also decided he would order himself a starter, so was watched enviously as he tucked into his £1.99 pakora on his lonesome.
Curry, Rice and Naan
Mains arrived on sizzling hot plates, with plenty of warnings from the waiter, obviously ignored. Chutneys were also topped up which was an added bonus.
Mike Dean, apparently not taking the loss of his poppadom well, and Gio then proceeded to steal Whiteman and Colton’s meals, tucking into them before the “mistake” was noticed by the group.
Whiteman was then more stressed when he was left out of the Garlic and Coriander Naan round but was appeased by assurances from the waiter that it was being cooked and would be on its way soon.
Curries were consumed and despite Whiteman and Colton’s mutinous glances to the other end of the table general consensus was, very tasty. Special mention to the Chai Shai Indian Rice that contained various veg/spices that added an extra dimension than the classic Pilau.
Given Runkle’s glowing review it was then decided to order an aperitif of Pekora starters to end the meal.
After Eights included with the cheque was an added bonus.
Upon the request for a club photo the waiter happily agreed and then proceeded to take the photo portrait chopping Runkle out entirely. Luckily the owner, obviously a better cameraman, managed to take over providing us with the lovely shot you can see below.
Post Drinks
Venue: The Myrtle Tree
After the delights of Chai Shai, BYO alcohol and the possibly unnecessary added starter dessert bellies were fit to bursting. So, as it was a school night, it was decided to immediately make our way to the nearest pub for some more beverages.
The closest pub Bag O’ Nails Cat Pub was bypassed due to Colton’s hatred of all things feline, so the next option was local-friendly, The Myrtle Tree.
Upon arrival we were immediately accosted by the pub’s two other occupants that we stink of curry, followed by their swift departure leaving us the sole occupants.
Conversations turned to what to call our new Curry based blog. “It needs to include Bristol in the name”, argued Morgs, “so that we are more likely to get free shit from local curry houses”. Name ideas then spiralled until the “Kolston Kurry Klub” was ultimately rejected and the much more PC “Bristol Front-Row Curry Club” was born.
The evening wrapped up with other scintillating conversation such as Morgs pronouncing that “as a proud welshman I refuse to spend more than £95 to watch Wales vs England” and how long the Hazell’s drive way is.
With several polite reminders from the bar lady that the pub was closing we vacated and made our way home, concluding the second Bristol Front-Row Curry Club outing of 2019.

Dhamaka
Pre Drinks
Venue: Hy-Brasil ONO Start The Bus
1st Bristol Front Row Curry Club outing of 2019! Expectations were high after the venue Dhamaka, chosen by relative newbie member Slammy, had recently been featured on Bristol Post as a top Bristol Curry spot.
As a new “hip” Curry House the pre-drinks venue needed to measure up, so we ended up in Hy-Brasil, home of some of the best/worst live music in Bristol. Apparently OBRFC’s second-best dressed member Tref (Fison #1 obviously) was seen on the decks there recently.
Conversation turned to best XMAS food, XMAS parties, NYE parties, the few dull dry January participants and best/worst XMAS presents. We then helped Runkle figure out the worst present he could get his missus for her upcoming birthday, with the outcome being a Keytar.
A few messages then arrived from Whiteman as he was “struggling to find parking so was unable to attend”. The empty NCP multi-storey carpark opposite was suggested back to him but alas he had “gone too far down the Baldwin Street one-way system”. First drop-out of 2019.
After a few beverages we made our way the approximately 3 metre walk from the door of Hy-Brasil to the Ex-Subway establishment Dhamaka.
Poppadoms and Chutneys
We arrived at Dhamaka, the first thing that strikes you is the huge graffiti style mural on the wall and brightly coloured decor. Some thought it was cool, others (mainly the BS8 residents) thought not so much.
We immediately ordered 2x poppadoms and assorted chutneys for the group, standard. “We only offer mini poppadom baskets” the waiter replied, “3 baskets between you should be enough”. It wasn’t.
Mini poppadom baskets arrived with an aassortment of three different dips/chutneys. The usual suspects, Mint Yoghurt and Mango Chutney were on point and then “For Our Mystery Chutney” a delicious, tangy, Pineapple Salsa.
Morgs then proceeded to loudly besmirch the size of the provided Cobra bottles in the rather quiet atmosphere. Surprisingly, in the next round larger sized bottles suddenly appeared and Morgs was appeased.
Dhamaka has a combined menu of tapas-style Chaat / Indian Street Food and a more traditional Curries/Rice and Naan section. Curry/Rice and Naan was ordered all around because we are creatures of habit with the exception of thrill-seeker Slammy who went off-piste and stretched to one item off the Chaat section.
Curry, Rice and Naan
Mains arrived in funky multi-coloured bowls and hot plates, with plenty of warnings from the waiter, obviously ignored.
The naan’s all arrived in one mega basket with each quarter being dutifully dished out be the waiter with a pair of silver tongues. There was a bit of naan mix up resulting in Morgs ending up with 3/4 of a naan. With no one owning up to the theft it was decided to blame Dhamaka.
Slammy had decided to order himself the waiter-recommended Pani Puri Chaat, AKA “Exploding Flavour Bombs”. This turned out to be small hollow balls that came with two squeezy bottles of flavoured waters (Mint and Tamarind). “Fill them all the way to the brim” said the waiter as Slammy emptied an entire bottle into one of the six provided balls and judging from his face proceeded to explode with flavour. Slammy later recommended to ignore the waiter, fill them half way and they are super tasty.
Curries were consumed and they were all delicious, with even naan-shorted Morgs in agreement.
The cheque arrived, sans one round of large bottled Cobras. Morgs was much happier and smug that his loud conversations about what an avid TripAdvisor reviewer he was had the desired effect.
As it was dry January it was decided to forego the usual post drinks and everyone departed Dhamaka, thus concluding the 1st OBRFCFRCC outing of 2019.



















